Nature Beauty and Silly Kids

The day just called us to be outside, and explore more of Washington. I am forever discovering the nature up here, and the closeness of it. Just drive about 5 minutes, and your in immense nature. This wonderful park nearyby has a lovely river flowing gently through it. It needed to be explored and cherished:) I kept gazing at the scenery, and going 'Wow, so beautiful', listening to the sounds of the water and the tree leaves moving in the wind. I kept an eye on Brooke often, as she just loves to go out in the water. The boys played with our empty snack containers, filling them with water and pouring them out to create waterfalls. We vowed to come back with buckets and shovels.

Ethan's face cracks me up. The water was not exactly a comfortable pool temperature. More on the frigid icy side. 

As we made our way to the car, the boys discovered a huge dirt pile. Tremendous joy comes from things like this. They love dirt. Reminded me of when I ordered some garden soil in Vegas, and it was dumped outisde our home. This was much bigger for them:)

It was just a good day. 

Some good memories I don't want to forget from this weekend:

I took the family to a church potluck while Shaun was working. 50% of the day was challenging with the usual parenting crap. At the dinner, I talked with a kind, older woman and asked her 'Did you have young boys? Any of them strong willed? How did you get them to listen? Sorry for being so open and poopy.' She was so kind and talked with me, sharing thoughts about her boys. Gave me the encouragement and hope I needed. 

At the dinner, the kids had a blast eating food and playing with friends. Among the food there, someone brought grilled chicken kabobs. Seriously was a tender mercy for me. Heavenly. 

I watched my boys through out the cultural hall. Ethan was enjoying the company of two girls his age, chasing them and making them laugh, and sitting in between them on the stage. So cute.

Kevin, oh Kevin:) Half of the hall was filled with kids ranging from 2-18, playing with a flood of big, bouncy balls. Balls, that's all kids need to entertain themselves. Some were playing keep away, while the older ones bounced some into the basket ball hoop.

 Then, there was Kevin, who decided to clamp onto a leg of one of the older boys, and not let go. He wrapped his legs and arms around them, laughing hysterically, and proclaiming that he was a Trex. The older boys would slowly walk around, dragging him on their legs, and it was so funny. How sweet that the boys never grew tired of him, but were kind and just played along. When Kevin would let go of one boy's leg, he instantly clamped on to another victim, and crack up. A mother of the older boys and I watched and died laughing at this scene. I wish I had a picture of it, but I decided to not run for the phone, but just enjoy the moment while it was happening. 

Brooke was happy eating food and chasing after balls. 

My kids are ok. They are funny, happy little people. They struggle, and I struggle. Sometimes I want to cry and just give up. Then, I come to myself and try to learn how I can understand them better, and what I can learn through this. It's so hard, but there's help all around. Just have to stay active, and count the blessings, in every possible way. 

My Boy Ethan

I get very contemplative each Sunday night as I attempt to plan out the week. I always think "Here's a new week to have great memories", and then all of a sudden its Friday and the week has flown by. Sometimes, the days are filled with the same, tedious routines of cleaning up, picking up, breaking up fights, keeping the kids out of mischief and trouble, and its easy to lose sight of this great gift of motherhood that I really don't want to forget. 

This sweet picture of Ethan is a sight I don't want to forget. A little while back, I was outside taking pictures of the LDS sister missionaries holding their scriptures. Ethan saw us, ran home to grab his scriptures, flew on his bike down to us, and wanted his own picture. I love his enthusiasm. I love this picture of him.

Very soon, Ethan will be celebrating his birthday. The years fly by. I know that not every day is easy with this passionate guy, but I'm trying to learn better from him, and remember that it's a gift to be his Mom. I read this quote on Pinterest that really nailed it.

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you'd have. It's about understanding he's exactly the person he's supposed to be. And, if you're lucky, he might be the teacher who turns you into the person you're supposed to be." The Water Giver

Seriously, such a great quote that needs printed out for me to see. This is how I feel about my sweet boy Ethan. He is my son and teacher. He loves to be loud and silly. He is so bright and is a strong leader. I can see it, but I need to remember this thought when the adversary tries to make me forget about the blessings of motherhood. 

This week, I will try again. We'll make some playdough and cookies. We'll read books snuggled a little closer. Play a few more puzzles and games. Listen and look in his eyes better, and remember that I get to be his mom, and it's great. 

My Mother's Day

My Mother's day was special. My boys behaved much better at church, and that was a huge gift to me. That week, I had the thought to try something new to help motivate the boys to be more respectful and reverent in their classes. I made a large ticket for each of them, had them sign their names on it, colored it, laminated it, and used it to redeem one treat of their choice on Sundays. 

I brought some chocolate chips with me to church. Each time I saw the boys sitting in their chair quietly, I snuck a chip to them, trying not to let Brooke see, or she'd freak out and start screaming. Brooke's at the lovely possesive stage. If she sees it and wants it, she turns into the Hulk. Toddler fun:) The boys got chips, and I snuck some for me. I just tried to do more little, positive rewards to help them know their doing good. It helped. 

They earned their ticket for being calm and not crazy in their little class. Both of the boys were so happy. I was relieved and grateful for the inspiration for this idea. 

I need to write this down; I know for a fact that the idea of the ticket and more little, consistent praise rewards came to me because I started reading my scriptures daily. For a long time, I have been supremely sucking at scripture studying. I would pray for help with the kids, and would get nothing. No ideas or anything, and it was really hard and discouraging. The ideas to help me come flowing now, and I've seen the huge difference. It has been most helpful, and makes me not want to stop my studies ever.

Same with our family scripture studying. We're still at it, reading a verse a night, and talking about it. Ethan began wanting to read along, and say the words that he could read. Blew me away, and is fantastic! I've heard of kids learning to read from scripture readings. Every little bit helps. Since we've started our readings, the kids have been fighting and teasing less. They're are still struggles, but the other crud has gone down trememendously. It has taught me so much. Forever thankful. Scripture studying. It works, and it's fantastically fun. 

When Mother's day comes around, I love to remember my dear Mom, my best friend. It's been six years since she went home to heaven. We did so much together, and have so many memories. She loved movies, worked in them, and had her favorite ones that we'd watch over and over again. Sometimes, I'll watch one of our favorite movies again for the fist time in awhile, and I'll remember all the funny parts that we'd laugh on, and all the little lines we'd quote. Special.

I feel bad sometimes, because I'm so busy raising my kids, and figuring out life that I don't remember her as often as I'd like. I try to keep pictures around, and remember her quotes and lessons she taught me. 

She worked as an extra on The Dukes of Hazzard. Such a great show. So clean and loaded with good ethics lessons. She loved working there, and would give shoulder massages to the Bo and Luke Duke actors. She was really good at reflexology and massaging. 

I found a special treat that is a joy. I have the DVDs of the show. On the 4th season, first disc, second episode, Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke actors made a commentary for that episode, just chatting away. At the end of the show, a celebrity country singer is performing in the Boar's Nest, where most of the extras were filmed. You could always see Mom in these scenes. Well, Mom was in this part, and I could see her a lot in the background, just enjoying the music. At the end of the song, the camera is pretty close to her, and she turns to chat with someone. I can see her beautiful, younger face. At that part, Bo speaks up on the commentary and says 'There's Jeanette' and talks about her a little bit. It delights me to no end to hear them say her name, and see such a good close up. That's my happy gift of my Mom.

This is another Boars Nest scene on youtube, and I found her in the bottom corner having fun. So tender for me. 

I love being a Mom, and I miss mine terribly. I got my love of movies, especially action ones, from her. Love the old movies, too. The musicals. Love her kindness, constant compassion, and quickness to forgive.

I love my kids, and have been trying to be more patient with them, play more, read more, tickle more, and love more. Day by day:)

Family Scripture Study; It's Working!

First off, a few pictures of our visit to the Portland Zoo. We took advantage of a sunny morning, well, mixed with clouds and a few showers on us, but a good morning. It was wonderful to nearly have the park to ourselves, going on a weekday. The walk around the zoo was so gorgeous. It's a zoo within a forest, the huge Oregon trees towering over the walkways. 

This week, my testimony of family scripture reading has been strengthened, and I have to write this down. For the past few weeks, we've had too much yelling, too much meanness between the kids, and not enough kindness and love. It was getting to all of us, and I wanted it to stop. For the hundreth time, I tried again to start up our daily reading with the kids.

 Last Sunday, we decided to set a goal. It was really easy; 'Let's just see if we can read our scriptures for 7 days, just till the next Sunday. Let's see if we can actually do it', hoping it would last longer. 

Well, here's the magic that has happened in our home since Sunday; the spirit is in our home again. How can I tell? Ethan and Kevin have played nice together for two days straight. They've been buddies, playing in the backyard digging up worms, putting them in jars, and actually being obedient and leaving them outside to play with. They still have had their sibling moments of yuck, but it has gone down a lot. 

Kevin and Brooke have been playing so sweetly together. Kevin makes her giggle like crazy. She tickles him. In the picture above, he was holding her hand, and helping her around the zoo. All of this has made my heart sing with joy.

This is what our scripture study consists of; a little before bedtime we've been sitting on our big king bed. I play a church song on the guitar, and try to get the kids to sing. It doesn't matter if they sing, as long as we're actually doing something. We then have read a scripture mastery verse, or something. At least one verse, and then we try to talk about it, within their short attention spans. Then, we say our family prayers, and get them ready for bed. That's it, and because we've done it every night since Sunday, the love and kindness has returned. I don't want it to leave, so I'm going to try very hard to be consistent into next week and beyond. 

I've also learned some incredible things about my personal scripture studying and keeping a scripture journal. That will be another post for next week. I can't wait to share what I've learned. All I can say is this; I just want to study my scriptures in my free time. I actually want to, isn't that insane? I haven't felt that way since the mission. I'll explain tons more next week:)

So, if you're struggling in your family with scripture studying, please don't give up. Try again, be consistent and have the faith that your home will be blessed with a greater measure of peace. It might not feel super enriching, but the fact that you're at least trying will be met with help from above. I'm seeing it happen right now. 

One fabulous thought to ponder:

"Sister Maynes and I learned some important principles as we began the process of establishing a Christ-centered home early in our marriage. We started by following the counsel of our Church leaders. We brought our children together and held weekly family home evenings as well as daily prayer and scripture study. It was not always easy, convenient, or successful, but over time these simple gatherings became treasured family traditions.

We learned that our children might not remember everything about the family home evening lesson later in the week, but they would remember that we held it. We learned that later in the day at school they would probably not remember the exact words of the scriptures or the prayer, but they would remember that we did read scriptures and we did have prayer. Brothers and sisters, there is great power and protection for us and our youth in establishing celestial traditions in the home."

Richard J. Maynes

Hands Free

For a few months now, I've noticed some great little snippets posted on Facebook from a page called 'The Hands Free Revolution". Good thoughts about letting go of distractions, putting the phone down, and tuning into life and noticing our families better. 

I pulled out my Kindle that had been hiding in my dresser, and started using it more. I love to read, but with kids, there's not much time for reading. I started reading the sample of this great book from Rachel, her Hands Free book. Such a good read. Nothing super huge and earth shattering, but something really good. 

I've noticed that we live in a heavy technology age today. Nearly everyone has a phone that has goodies on it to distract us. When I'm at parks with the kids, I've seen other parents looking at their phones, while their kids play by themselves. I'm totally guilty of it. I remember thinking to myself before I had an Iphone, "I'm never going to be on it all the time looking at stuff while my kids are up." Ha! What a load of crap. I'm totally a victim, getting sucked into checking Pinterest, FB or anything else. I love Pinterest, and I love catching up with friends, and especially reading the homeschool groups on FB, but I must learn to harness it. 

I've wanted to make a change for better with this habit. When I read Rachel's blog post on 'How to Miss a Childhood', that really hit me. Such a good read. Since then, I've wanted to make a conscious effort to do better, to put the phone down more, check it less, and tune it to my family better. I always can tell when my kids start acting up. It's mostly because I'm not spending enough time with them because of the stupid phone, or thinking I need to clean something up, laundry, etc. 

So, I got her e-book, and began to read more. It's a wonderful book. I just wanted to share some tidbits with you.

"Hands Free is not about being perfect; nor is it about being hyperfocused on the people I love. It is simply about making a conscious effort each and every day to connect. 

It is togetherness.

It is communication. 

It is fogiveness.

It is unconditional love. 

The most life changing experiences happen when I stop trying to control and simply let things unfold.

By shutting down your devices periodically each day, you are able to protect your time, strengthen your relationships, and nurture your own health and well being. Giving yourself a chance to notice the details that make life worth living is time well spent."

I encourage you to check out Rachel's Hands Free blog. It's filled with goodness. I think it not only applies to mothers who are missing out on their kids moments, but to all ages, and to all stages in life. Life is just too short, and it keeps flying by. Just had to share:)

"Let's Try That Again"

Found a pretty spot at a friend's house, and captured some shots of Brooke. Love this so much.

A wonderful lady at church shared her love and wisdom with me in a few, brief moments. She spoke of when her kids sometimes would speak to her in an unkind tone. The usual stuff that I've tried to help my boys do better on. She shared this with me. 

"Whenever we have a moment like that, I say this to them, "Let's try that again". 

It has saved her a lot of contention and brought the peace back. I thought to myself, "Of course", and quickly wrought it down in my church journal. 

Since then, I talked with my family, and we have started trying to say this sweet sentence when our words are unkind. It's been so neat to see the change in the boys and their concious effort to say something nicer. We role played it. When the boys practiced resolving the problem, they just hugged each other and laughed until they fell on the ground in a jumbled mess. So funny. 

I'm so thankful for the nuggets of gold I get from others. Just a simple little lesson in their examples that help me do a little better. Just had to share:)

Rain fun and my thoughts

I took a little blog break last week because the sun was out nearly every day. I have learned that when that happens, drop everything and play. There are less sunny days here in the winter. Now, when the sun is shining, I let it shine on my face, look up to the sky, and say a little 'thank you' for it.

A few weeks ago, it was pouring rain. We took advantage of some fun water play with our wagon and toys. It was great, and delightful fun for about 30 minutes:) The kids loved filling their buckets up, pouring, and transferring. Back home, when it rains it usually lasts about 5-10 minutes. Hours of rain on end is definitely new to us!

Arent' those pictures fun? Sweet kid moments.

In the midst of life, I had another birthday. I totally forgot about it coming up on me, until I got a candy bar at church. I would love to say that I had a birthday bash, went out to a show, or something amazing, but it was just an ordinary day taking care of the kiddos. Yet, I made a fantastic white chicken lasagna with whole wheat noodles that everyone ate. That was a gift.

I also made our favorite gold mine of a recipe find; a really, easy chocolate mousse.  I doubled the recipe, which filled the mixer bowl pretty decently. I declared my birthday weekend chocolate mousse day. We ate mousse for dessert, breakfast, and any other chance we could lick it up until it was gone. Lasted an amazing 24 hours. It's so good.

Played a little Wii with the kids and watched Hook. Put them to bed, and got to relax. It was a nice birthday.

Now, it's raining again. Steady stream of water. It's a pretty sound to hear through the windows.

Had a bit of a challenging afternoon with the boys. Yelled too much, getting tired, and junk. Tried my best to end the day right by tucking them in, reading to them, and telling them 'mama stories', stories from chapters of my life, which they greatly love. I love telling them, too. As I tell the story, my mind is taken right back to that moment when the story happened. I see all the details clearly in my head, and I remember the friends I met, and the great things I learned from them. The boys just love these stories.

Anyways, Kevin told me tonight he prayed for me when I was being a hag. It melted my heart, and I gave him a big hug. Later, I checked in on them, and just looked at them asleep, falling in love with them all over again. Sigh:)

So, this blog of mine is not the mommy blog where all the posts are rainbows and happy bubbles. I've heard of people reading those type of blogs, and feeling terrible about themselves, thinking they are not amazing like the blogger they just read. I hope whoever reads this will not be down on themselves, but know that I'm just like you. I struggle. I want to do better. I'm trying to see the beauty in life, the moments that are golden, and trying to learn what the Lord wants me to learn. Trying to do that while having crazy hard days, and great, peaceful days. It's quite the ride. I love learning, and I love sharing good things I've learned with others.

Wishing you all a peaceful week:)

"Deliberate Motherhood" Thoughts: Seasons

This books is such a wonderful mothering book to read. I have been working through it slowly, trying to savor each chapter, and grasp what it's trying to teach me. I'm almost to the end of the book, and have been looking through the earlier chapters to remember the gems I marked. I have so many little snippets I want to share with you. It's such a peaceful and empowering book, a celebration of motherhood, and a tool to help us see the glory of being a Mom even on the hardest days.

Today's thoughts are about enjoying the season you are in right now, from chapter 7:

"Crying babies and sleepless nights will only last a short season in our lives, and then it is us who will be longing for midnight snuggles. Battles with teenagers soon end, and we will long for those late night discussions. The home we onced wished would just stay clean will soon feel all too empty.

"Today is a gift; that is why it is called the present." - Unknown

Chantelle Adams

"Allowing life's opportunities to blossom in their proper season helps us appreciate the present. It allows us to focus on who we are, and whom we are with, right now. To be constantly wishing away the current season, because the next season seems more appealing, is to miss the fragrance of lilacs after a spring rain because you can't wait for barbecues by the pool. " 

Jennifer Cummings

Aren't these beautiful thoughts? I need these little reminders constantly when some days are crazy and I am learning to understand who these little, sweet spirits are that have joined our family. Each one of my kids have such a unique personality, and have so much to give to the world, and to give to us in our home. Shaun and I are the lucky ones to learn from these little guys each day, the two young men and a little lady. Being a mom is not an easy job at all, but it sure is a special one. 

Libraries are magical

The libraries here in Washington are really neat. We've been to two of them so far, and they both have a play area for the kids that are very Waldorf themed. Lots of learning on hand stuff. This is the little one we live by. We often go to get more books to devour. It's usually quiet for us, as most kids are in school. I try to take the time to play with them, and let them enjoy the quiet time to be kids. Ethan was hunting down books, and didn't make it into the pictures this time. 

I thought about how one day, the small toys and play time of a library may not appeal to my kids anymore. They will be older, and excited to do other things. This stage of the library play time is so short. All too soon, it's going to be gone. They won't be small anymore. It pulls at my heart strings, and makes me want to really slow down, again and again, and savor the moment. Kevin loves dinosaurs. Ethan loves to make paper airplanes. Brooke is a snuggler. I wish I could slow down time, but I can't. So, I keep trying to enjoy each day. I keep trying to learn how to help my kids with their struggles, and I keep trying to devote more moments for just holding and tickling them. 

Fabulous quote to inspire you:

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." -Jill Churchill

Kind words

I just love this picture. Total essence of the kind of mother I am trying to be. I read a great little book, 'What would a holy woman do?" Such good thoughts on trying to be holy in the everyday things we do. I remember reading being holy is not perfection, but just striving to be a little more kind, a little more patient and thoughtful. I tried to think this way through the week. Here's what I noticed:

• I enjoyed taking the time to sit and play with Kevin. He loves his little dinosaur, 'Diney.' He loves to build houses and forts for his cars and small toys with blocks. He is so imaginative. 
• Ethan hugs more and smiles when I try to listen to him better. His patience level is pretty much zero, so when I try super hard to be patient with him, and speak calmly, (insanely hard!!), somehow, it helps. 
• Brooke is just a darling who is going through the possessive phase a bit right now. Toddler stuff. She shrieks and cries when something is taken away, usually by her brothers. I try to help the boys remember to not snatch toys, and to be more gentle with her. Today, Ethan spent a good ten minutes playing hide and seek with Brooke. I just sat and watched, soaking in the moment of them being kind to each other. Blessing. 

Yesterday was Sunday. We survived another episode of 'Church with young kids.' Later that night, I asked on Facebook about helping kids with their temper tantrums and such. Whenever I post anything about the trials of kids, I do it so timidly and with a bit fear. I don't want to post negative stuff, or sound whiney and complaining about my kids all the time. I know that I am not the only mom out there struggling with kids. We all have at least one kid that is our hard one, and the one that will teach us some great lessons. 

I ask questions on FB because there are so many other friends out there that have such wisdom and insight that sometimes I don't even think of. I treat asking questions on FB as opening a vault of gold, and receiving some nuggets of help. I just always do it with a little bit of fear for being so open. Yet, sometimes I get a message from another dear friend who thanks me for sharing my struggles. It helps me so much, and I always get surprised that I actually was helping someone by my whining.

 I got a message from a sweet friend last night, and it just really touched me. Here's a snippet:

"Thank you for sharing your struggle in motherhood so others like me can learn from them. Also thank you for loving your children so much. In every status, every blog post one thing is for sure, you love your family and that you have a testimony of the gospel. Not very many people can say that."

I read that, and was just humbled to the ground. It was so thoughtful, and was such a lift that has helped me do better with my kiddos today. Isn't it wonderful when kind words are shared? It's so easy to share them, and it has such a powerful effect for good. They don't cost anything to buy and give, and we have them inside of us all the time to give to others when they need it. I'm so thankful for my gift of kind words I received. 

Parenting thoughts

Today was Kevin's birthday. We tried to make it a special day for him. Got the birthday banner out, the plastic goblet cup to drink from, and I made a chocolate cake for him. It was also a very challenging day for Ethan. After I put the kids to bed, I sat on the couch, head in my hands, exhausted and heartbroken, but grasping onto the strength to not cry but to seek guidance from above. 

Perhaps Ethan was sad that it was not his birthday, and the attention was not on him. Maybe he needed to know that he was equally loved and I did not do a good job communicating that to him today. It could be a multitude of reasons. 

After teaching the young women today at church about making their personal prayers more effective by offering a kneeling, vocal prayer (thank you, missionary training center teachers!), I knelt down and prayed out loud myself, asking for help with Ethan. Again, I was reminded at how effective that method of praying is, and wrote down impressions that came to mind. 

Some of them were: 

Hang more pictures of Ethan around the house to remind me how much I love him. 

Pick a random day to just celebrate having him in our family. 

I also searched through my gospel library app for any conference talks on parenting. Like searching through a gold vault. Seriously. The quotes are from M Russell Ballard's talk 'Women of God'. He gives some great thoughts on mothering. It gave me peace. 

Here's on more thought from his talk. I hope it helps some reader out there:)