Today was Kevin's birthday. We tried to make it a special day for him. Got the birthday banner out, the plastic goblet cup to drink from, and I made a chocolate cake for him. It was also a very challenging day for Ethan. After I put the kids to bed, I sat on the couch, head in my hands, exhausted and heartbroken, but grasping onto the strength to not cry but to seek guidance from above.
Perhaps Ethan was sad that it was not his birthday, and the attention was not on him. Maybe he needed to know that he was equally loved and I did not do a good job communicating that to him today. It could be a multitude of reasons.
After teaching the young women today at church about making their personal prayers more effective by offering a kneeling, vocal prayer (thank you, missionary training center teachers!), I knelt down and prayed out loud myself, asking for help with Ethan. Again, I was reminded at how effective that method of praying is, and wrote down impressions that came to mind.
Some of them were:
Hang more pictures of Ethan around the house to remind me how much I love him.
Pick a random day to just celebrate having him in our family.
I also searched through my gospel library app for any conference talks on parenting. Like searching through a gold vault. Seriously. The quotes are from M Russell Ballard's talk 'Women of God'. He gives some great thoughts on mothering. It gave me peace.
Here's on more thought from his talk. I hope it helps some reader out there:)
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