My Greatest Fear

Hear I go again being completely open and honest with whoever is reading...

I see many good parenting articles about living in the moment, enjoying what stage you are in, and the constant reminder that kids grow up in a blink and to enjoy them. They are all written with the best of intentions by dear mothers. I read a few of them here and there, and try to find the positive in them to help me.

I am a mom of three young kiddos. Some days are good, and a lot of days are really, really hard. Days that make me think "Remember life before kids, when things were easier?", which makes me really guilty for ever thinking that.

I see glimpses of other families with older kids doing fun things together. Sometimes I think 'Wow, that must be fun. Maybe their kids actually listen. Maybe they have less nights going to bed not completely stressed and worn out.' Then, I try to stop thinking those thoughts, because I have heard that parenting teeanagers is an emotional, whole other ball park that I don't understand yet, and I just try to think of my family.

My greatest fear is that these fleeting years of the kids being young will fly past me too quickly, and I won't remember and enjoy it as much as I want, because I'm trying to learn how to discipline all the time, breaking up fights, teaching them good habits and gospel principles before they get older, and the sheer physical exhaustion of raising young kids. I'm so scared that I'll be the mom who looks back at pictures, and can't remember what we were doing at that time, because raising young kids is tough.

I remember when Kevin was born. I had an 18 month old and a newborn. That first year of Kevin's birth, all I can remember is being physically exhausted each and every day. I remember nursing all the time, being on my feet taking care of the boys, having a quick rest during their naptimes, and collapsing on the couch at 5pm when Shaun came home from work and could take over. Yet, I remember learning photography online at that time, and taking a beautiful picture of Kevin in his sweet, baby stage, but that's about it. It makes me sad that I can't remember too much more.

So, what do I do? How do I enjoy the stage I'm in right now with my sweet children who drive me crazy somedays, and melt my heart the next day? How can I not let this time, the only time that they will be this young, slip from me due to the fact that I'm just trying to learn how to be a parent for the first time, and to love them?

Well.. this is what I've done so far..

I try to read my scriptures better. I really have been doing a lame job at that lately. My dear husband inspires me every day when he reads on his own. Such a help. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to do it daily again. It helps.

I search for parenting counsel in the treasure vault, otherwise known as the LDS Gospel Library App
I search through General Conference talks, scriptures, and more. I find gold every time, and I try to Instagram it, hoping it can help someone else out there.

I bravely and timidly ask for help on Facebook, because there are other moms out there that have been through the young kid stages, and that have wonderful wisdom to share with me and others who read through the comments. It has always been such a help.

I try not to read too many parenting blogs, and get overwhelmed, but the one I keep coming back to is The Power of Moms.  Over and over again. The articles on here and the podcasts are so great. I try to learn some good tips, skills, whatever! Anything to help little kids grow up to be good little men and women, and to bring more peace into our home.

I try really, really hard to remember to pick my battles wisely. Let a lot of things go. Keep the bigger picture in mind. Is it really worth arguing over this and hurting a family relationship, or can I let it go and breathe? Nurture. I need to do more of that.

There's more to write, but mainly, I try hard to not listen to Satan. He's a big jerk that just wants me to be miserable like himself.  I think he works hard on moms, especially new moms, when they are in the trenches of motherhood with young kids that wear them out. He works on moms of all age kids, because he never takes a day off.

Lately, I just have been trying to hug the kids more. Hold them. Read to them. Ask them what they want to learn about today. Throw them all in our big king bed, and tickle them. Let them run around and go crazy for a little bit, because that's what little boys do. Praise them when they do some little thing I ask them to do, because when they do listen and be obedient, it's the equivalent to the fireworks going off in Idaho Falls at the 4th of July. (Best firework show ever! Never forgot that from my college days:)

Thank you for reading, and please comment with any thoughts or advice. Helps me lots.