Things to Remember

Things I want to remember from this moment in time:

Ethan made his own safe, creative fun place on the floor in his closet. He put a few of his favorite toys in there, along with blankets and pillows. He's been sleeping in there for three nights so far, just a little bit away from the bunk bed that he and Kevin share. He loves it. It's such a funny, little boy thing to do. It makes me laugh, and I know it's a small stage that will pass. 

Reading the 'magic tree house' series to the boys at night. They love it. 

Kevin loves three things; dinosaurs, transformers and Lindsey Stirling, the fun violinist. He loves to cling to my leg, very much like the youngest girl on Despicable Me, while I walk around the house, dragging him with me. He is a giggle box, with an endless supply of laughter. Cracks us up. 

Brooke sings and sings. She loves to try on shoes. She pretends to talk into an iPod, like a phone. She's talking more. She's becoming quite a young woman, expressing her desires quite vocally. She loves to show me something, saying 'Mama, see? Whoa!' So darling. 

Ethan and I talk on the walkie talkies a lot. He plays outside and we'll talk back and forth. I like to be silly and say 'Shepard to lost sheep' like on Dukes of Hazzard. 

These are a few things that I don't want to forget. Love my kids. There's still tough days, of course, but it's fun to see the sweet moments. 

The Lord's Side of the Line

A friend introduced me to this website. Blessing. I quickly recognized it as gold, and browsed around. I watched this short clip, and was totally humbled to the dirt.

First of all, this this is Elder David A. Bednar, a true and living apostle in our time. The term 'Elder' means teacher. Before he was called to be an apostle, he was the president of Ricks College, now BYU-Idaho. I went to Ricks when he was there. I went to many weekly devotionals, (big auditorium filled with students to hear a speaker talk of spiritual goodness) and hear him speak to the students. He and his wife would hold family home evenings for a small group of students weekly. There, they would answer any questions we had about the church related matter, and feed us ice cream afterwards.

The two words that describe him best to me are these; master teacher. He has such a powerful way of teaching, and was always very kind to all of us kids, the college students:)

I have to share this clip with you. It's only 5 minutes long. Best little media clip ever. It just rocked me. Maybe it's because I'm a mom of boys, and this young boy in the clip is just so tender to me. Maybe it's because the simple act of reading my scriptures and saying my prayers can become so casual and easily forgotten. Whatever the case, Elder Bednar puts everything into crucial perspective with his teaching analogy here. In the words that he always uses when he teaches, pay attention to the spirit as it will speak to you when you watch this, and let it change you.

8 Years of Marriage!

Happy anniversary to us! 8 years of marriage, wow. Sure has flown.

One night, Shaun and I were looking for something to watch on Netflix. He turned on 'Ghostbusters'. I looked at him, and said "Are you serious? I'm going to freak out." I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It's way funny, but it has scared me to no end ever since I saw it as a little girl. Basically, the dogs with the red eyes. It's ridiculous and silly, I know.

So, I said 'Ok, let's just watch it for the funny parts', because there are lines that make me giggle. Then, it shows the haunted apartment building, which looks some tall building my Mom and I would always pass on the freeway somewhere in Las Angeles. Scared the crap out of me, and I would shrink in the car to not see it.

Of course, I'm such a daredeveil. I said "Well, let's just see if it's as scary as I remember. I'm older now. Shouldn't be so bad." Total dork. So, I see the part at Rick Moranis's party when he opens his closet and throws a jacket in, landing on one of those darn dogs. As soon as I see those stinking red eyes, I freaked and said 'Yup. Still scary', and I dive into Shaun's arms, making sure he is holding me close, because I am still a wuss. I asked him 'Is it just me, or isn't there a movie that scares you?', to which he admitted about "The Grudge".

This movie incident made me think about how lucky I am to be married to Shaun, my movie buddy, silly friend who's super smart, strong, loves the kids, and loves me. The last time I saw this movie, I only had my stuffed animals and my mom to get me through the scary parts. Now, I have this big, handsome, wonderful sweetheart who takes care of me through everything. I love making those dang good chocolate peanut butter cups for him. I love saying stupid stuff just to make him laugh. Love seeing him play with the boys, and how much they love him. Love how hard working he is. So many things to write about him, but I love that I've been married to him for eight years, and I can't wait for more memories with him:)

I also love these pictures of us. My good friend Celise Salmon took these, and I love them so much. She did such a fantastic job. I love the last picture of us laughing. Oh, that is so precious to me. I can't wait to order it big on a float wrap or something. How important it is to get new pictures with your sweetheart, every year. It's a gift to be treasured.

Rain fun and my thoughts

I took a little blog break last week because the sun was out nearly every day. I have learned that when that happens, drop everything and play. There are less sunny days here in the winter. Now, when the sun is shining, I let it shine on my face, look up to the sky, and say a little 'thank you' for it.

A few weeks ago, it was pouring rain. We took advantage of some fun water play with our wagon and toys. It was great, and delightful fun for about 30 minutes:) The kids loved filling their buckets up, pouring, and transferring. Back home, when it rains it usually lasts about 5-10 minutes. Hours of rain on end is definitely new to us!

Arent' those pictures fun? Sweet kid moments.

In the midst of life, I had another birthday. I totally forgot about it coming up on me, until I got a candy bar at church. I would love to say that I had a birthday bash, went out to a show, or something amazing, but it was just an ordinary day taking care of the kiddos. Yet, I made a fantastic white chicken lasagna with whole wheat noodles that everyone ate. That was a gift.

I also made our favorite gold mine of a recipe find; a really, easy chocolate mousse.  I doubled the recipe, which filled the mixer bowl pretty decently. I declared my birthday weekend chocolate mousse day. We ate mousse for dessert, breakfast, and any other chance we could lick it up until it was gone. Lasted an amazing 24 hours. It's so good.

Played a little Wii with the kids and watched Hook. Put them to bed, and got to relax. It was a nice birthday.

Now, it's raining again. Steady stream of water. It's a pretty sound to hear through the windows.

Had a bit of a challenging afternoon with the boys. Yelled too much, getting tired, and junk. Tried my best to end the day right by tucking them in, reading to them, and telling them 'mama stories', stories from chapters of my life, which they greatly love. I love telling them, too. As I tell the story, my mind is taken right back to that moment when the story happened. I see all the details clearly in my head, and I remember the friends I met, and the great things I learned from them. The boys just love these stories.

Anyways, Kevin told me tonight he prayed for me when I was being a hag. It melted my heart, and I gave him a big hug. Later, I checked in on them, and just looked at them asleep, falling in love with them all over again. Sigh:)

So, this blog of mine is not the mommy blog where all the posts are rainbows and happy bubbles. I've heard of people reading those type of blogs, and feeling terrible about themselves, thinking they are not amazing like the blogger they just read. I hope whoever reads this will not be down on themselves, but know that I'm just like you. I struggle. I want to do better. I'm trying to see the beauty in life, the moments that are golden, and trying to learn what the Lord wants me to learn. Trying to do that while having crazy hard days, and great, peaceful days. It's quite the ride. I love learning, and I love sharing good things I've learned with others.

Wishing you all a peaceful week:)

Beauty of the Stars

Recently, they boys and I were learning about stars and the solar system. That night, I put them to bed and went outside to help Shaun fix some things on the car. I immediately saw the sky, went "Wow!" and went back inside to get the kids up. The sky was so clear, and the stars were very visible. Now, for Washington, that's a big deal in the winter. I'm learning that many winter nights are cloudy and not a star to be seen. 

The boys were still awake as I opened their door and said 'Come outside. I have a surprise.' Well, nothing makes little kids move faster than hearing the word 'surprise'. They raced to get on jackets and shoes. It was so funny. I brought them out to the driveway and told them to look up. They both looked up and were amazed. Not that we haven't seen stars before in Vegas, but there is a pink hazy light coming from the strip that sometimes blocks out the clearness of a starry night. This night was particulary perfect for our day of learning. It was at that moment that I thought, "Man, a telescope would be really cool right now." 

The boys loved it, but then Kevin said to me "Mom, I'm cold. I want to go back to bed." I laughed and helped them both back, thinking of nights when they will be up later than 8. 

Sometimes, I get so busy in my little world that I forget to stop and look at the stars, and remember this world that God created for us. Looking at the stars, I am amazed at His creations, how tiny I am, but always rememberd as His daughter. I love starry nights. 

My Greatest Fear

Hear I go again being completely open and honest with whoever is reading...

I see many good parenting articles about living in the moment, enjoying what stage you are in, and the constant reminder that kids grow up in a blink and to enjoy them. They are all written with the best of intentions by dear mothers. I read a few of them here and there, and try to find the positive in them to help me.

I am a mom of three young kiddos. Some days are good, and a lot of days are really, really hard. Days that make me think "Remember life before kids, when things were easier?", which makes me really guilty for ever thinking that.

I see glimpses of other families with older kids doing fun things together. Sometimes I think 'Wow, that must be fun. Maybe their kids actually listen. Maybe they have less nights going to bed not completely stressed and worn out.' Then, I try to stop thinking those thoughts, because I have heard that parenting teeanagers is an emotional, whole other ball park that I don't understand yet, and I just try to think of my family.

My greatest fear is that these fleeting years of the kids being young will fly past me too quickly, and I won't remember and enjoy it as much as I want, because I'm trying to learn how to discipline all the time, breaking up fights, teaching them good habits and gospel principles before they get older, and the sheer physical exhaustion of raising young kids. I'm so scared that I'll be the mom who looks back at pictures, and can't remember what we were doing at that time, because raising young kids is tough.

I remember when Kevin was born. I had an 18 month old and a newborn. That first year of Kevin's birth, all I can remember is being physically exhausted each and every day. I remember nursing all the time, being on my feet taking care of the boys, having a quick rest during their naptimes, and collapsing on the couch at 5pm when Shaun came home from work and could take over. Yet, I remember learning photography online at that time, and taking a beautiful picture of Kevin in his sweet, baby stage, but that's about it. It makes me sad that I can't remember too much more.

So, what do I do? How do I enjoy the stage I'm in right now with my sweet children who drive me crazy somedays, and melt my heart the next day? How can I not let this time, the only time that they will be this young, slip from me due to the fact that I'm just trying to learn how to be a parent for the first time, and to love them?

Well.. this is what I've done so far..

I try to read my scriptures better. I really have been doing a lame job at that lately. My dear husband inspires me every day when he reads on his own. Such a help. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to do it daily again. It helps.

I search for parenting counsel in the treasure vault, otherwise known as the LDS Gospel Library App
I search through General Conference talks, scriptures, and more. I find gold every time, and I try to Instagram it, hoping it can help someone else out there.

I bravely and timidly ask for help on Facebook, because there are other moms out there that have been through the young kid stages, and that have wonderful wisdom to share with me and others who read through the comments. It has always been such a help.

I try not to read too many parenting blogs, and get overwhelmed, but the one I keep coming back to is The Power of Moms.  Over and over again. The articles on here and the podcasts are so great. I try to learn some good tips, skills, whatever! Anything to help little kids grow up to be good little men and women, and to bring more peace into our home.

I try really, really hard to remember to pick my battles wisely. Let a lot of things go. Keep the bigger picture in mind. Is it really worth arguing over this and hurting a family relationship, or can I let it go and breathe? Nurture. I need to do more of that.

There's more to write, but mainly, I try hard to not listen to Satan. He's a big jerk that just wants me to be miserable like himself.  I think he works hard on moms, especially new moms, when they are in the trenches of motherhood with young kids that wear them out. He works on moms of all age kids, because he never takes a day off.

Lately, I just have been trying to hug the kids more. Hold them. Read to them. Ask them what they want to learn about today. Throw them all in our big king bed, and tickle them. Let them run around and go crazy for a little bit, because that's what little boys do. Praise them when they do some little thing I ask them to do, because when they do listen and be obedient, it's the equivalent to the fireworks going off in Idaho Falls at the 4th of July. (Best firework show ever! Never forgot that from my college days:)

Thank you for reading, and please comment with any thoughts or advice. Helps me lots.